Alice

2011-12-31T11:28:00.000+08:00

Two guards before a prison. One nonchalant the other not.

Uniformity: "Just one, not two".

Conformity: "Can be many but all must be the same.
Minions who believe...they are the masters.
False utopia fed with deceits
Spacetime and dreams buried deep
Every moment quite asleep".

Uniformity: "Energy, Life, Death, quantum theory of the west. A pattern of significance".

The nonchalant guard finally speaks,"The traveller has reached the end of the journey. In the freedom of the infinite he is free from all sorrows, the fetters that bound him are thrown away, and the burning fever of life is no more".
The nonchalant One then strangely and swiftly becomes a specturm of colours before into nothingness. It is such a stunning stillness that even Time involuntarily stops to watch.

"Ooooo...was that Buddha"? "Nah, everyone is a buddha nowadays".

The words echoes through the prison walls... and a quiet awakening begins to be.

2011-12-17T10:41:00.000+08:00

Suffering: "I want nothing".
hero: "That is something".
The two then fall into the absence of words.
With eyes closed, Suffering sees self - a vortex of war, famine, lust, illness and decay, more than 21600 frames per fourth of a second, all encapsulated within a black hole.

It begins to snow, and water turn cold.
The two begin to crystalize, like a snow flake in winter time.
A titan on a journey walks by and stops. Curiously, he stares at the two: one absolute, the other absolutely ugly and deformed. He steps closer, amazed at the elaborate deformity before him. There seems to be a recurring pattern...he tries to open his eyes largely...a vortex of somesort with stuff too miniscule for sight. And there within his large pupils, a reflection forms in an instant and soon multiplies into the deep abyss of many.
...

tbc

2011-11-10T09:52:00.003+08:00

Thoughts run at superluminal speed
Consciousness is constantly asleep
Temple becomes a machine
Operating in contradicting scenes
A fool with a thousand faces
I longed to be free
Splitting and separating
When will this cease?
The quantum Universe speaks.

2011-10-08T11:19:00.002+08:00

Gone back to being neutrinos, go back, go back until nothingness

2011-09-06T10:59:00.000+08:00

Wanton folder Banquet waitress Candle kiosk promoter Stock exchange executive Tuition teacher Emcee Copywriter Journalist Translator Fashion, Travel writer Art Columnist Editor Fixer for NG Location manager Production manager Art director Production designer reality show director Voice-overs interpretor
What am I?
I am jaded

2011-08-04T11:25:00.002+08:00

very few let me be and still love me

2011-08-02T12:20:00.005+08:00

你我也岂不是刹那生命
咱们要把本来面目找回来
我俩不再恐惧
颠颠倒倒的日子不再有

2011-07-31T12:20:00.004+08:00

So they won't drift apart

2011-07-29T12:53:00.001+08:00

2011-07-14T19:39:00.000+08:00

力不从心

2011-06-23T23:16:00.000+08:00

Ok muah come back soon

...

My next line was going to be you could do it
But I wanted you to know that I miss you first
So now I'm just lonely silly

2011-06-14T17:50:00.001+08:00

2011-06-14T13:13:00.002+08:00

The only picture I had with my dad was taken in 1981; I was one.

We never had any picture taken together ever since.

Maybe it's a good thing, I won't get sad so often without a picture in my hand.

Maybe it's not, I still get sad with the picture in my head.

2011-05-11T11:40:00.000+08:00

一匹狼一副羊
百张脸
注定无

中

2011-05-06T11:27:00.001+08:00

2011-04-10T11:40:00.000+08:00

mors et fugacem persequitur

2011-04-05T11:48:00.000+08:00

The brain is a super computer
But I'm too dumb to figure out where all the buttons are.

2011-04-05T09:47:00.002+08:00

Be aware of it
Let it pass

2011-03-28T09:49:00.002+08:00

别人笑我忒疯癫，
我笑别人看不穿

2011-03-14T11:46:00.001+08:00

What does it take to make you happy?
And by you I mean I
come together already
come apart already
whatever it takes
whatever it takes.

2011-02-10T18:42:00.001+08:00

君子之交淡如水
你我何尝不是？
我没说你就已经见证了

2011-02-10T18:39:00.000+08:00

目前为止，我只知道博爱是解脱
受困私情未免太天真

2011-02-10T11:04:00.000+08:00

我不是一个疑神疑鬼的小女人，从来不是
但宇宙还是让我发现你的谎言，满满的渗出来，喷得我自然反应
你把身边的女人都藏起来，再说我无中生有
搞得我有点糊涂，若没有什么那何来隐瞒的动机？
原来你面对着我撒谎像是轻而易举
今天我成了疑神疑鬼
明天我可能累了，睡了
不再有任何牵挂

2011-02-10T10:42:00.000+08:00

It's easier to say that you did it for me
It's easier to say that I couldn't handle it
What is there to handle?
A conspiracy?
A lie that has a life of its own?
Do I play along?
Can I play along well?

2011-02-03T20:10:00.002+08:00

loneliness is palpable

2011-02-02T12:22:00.001+08:00

I'm not loved anymore!!!
damn that hurts

2011-02-02T10:29:00.001+08:00

站起来

2011-02-02T10:23:00.000+08:00

挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩

2011-01-21T18:06:00.002+08:00

today is my birthday
hello to you

2010-12-11T17:47:00.002+08:00

The greatest quest has always and always will be about understanding.
Only upon understanding that one is able to particpate, in hope of walking on the middle path, to find centre.

2010-12-04T15:02:00.001+08:00

看得破放得下
要看得明白？
我看见爸爸如何欺骗我妈
我看见身边朋友如何互相欺骗
我记得前男友如何背叛
我看见爱人如何面对着我向我说谎
我看见自己如何自欺欺人
难以自控？
信任不知何时已经被尘沙自思烦恼蒙盖
透不过气
虽知道真正解脱莫过于放下
谈何容易
我细薄的智慧在脑后警惕自己这是唯一的出路
但始终日夜害怕再受欺骗
无法自拔
明白宇宙给我力量！

ella ella ay ay ay

2010-11-12T12:33:00.001+08:00

2010-11-11T11:40:00.002+08:00

Like the quarks and gluons, I fear that we too may need to be freed of our attraction to one another to unravel the mystery of our basic matter.

Spirited

2010-11-09T16:30:00.001+08:00

2010-11-07T14:42:00.002+08:00

Now, more so than ever, we need to sync our thoughts to our actions.

We are afterall, living in the psychic generation. It's just not probable to deceive anymore.

It's an innate instinct gaining on momentum.

2010-10-12T17:06:00.000+08:00

Dear universe,

I just realized I've made a fool out of myself.
I cried myself a river but still, the river couldn't take me away.
will you send me to another supernova so its brilliance will blind me from my incomprehensible sorrow?

2010-10-12T12:56:00.000+08:00

信任是一种解脱
没有它是糊涂的困扰
勇气则是信任的赌注

2010-10-12T09:52:00.003+08:00

heartbroken again.
who and how to mend but the universe

2010-10-11T10:54:00.000+08:00

pembohongan yang cuma erti membunuh

2010-10-10T18:55:00.000+08:00

missed opportunity to tell the truth

consequences prevail

2010-10-09T15:38:00.000+08:00

我的尘沙烦恼若不放下
就只有把命也赔了
灵也完了
宇宙只取笑我的无知

2010-10-09T09:56:00.003+08:00

A lie is a lie, there is no innocence, only intention.

2010-09-28T17:06:00.000+08:00

Impulsive or Instinctive?

2010-09-22T12:31:00.002+08:00

cosmic head games are no fun

2010-09-16T10:44:00.002+08:00

another relapse
to replace

2010-08-16T12:01:00.004+08:00

murderers always have a motive for their actions
hermits too.

2010-08-14T12:55:00.002+08:00

Mean what you say or take a hike
A shrug & company of one is contentment.

2010-08-11T13:12:00.000+08:00

The green snake slithered all over me and it felt good.
I slept with it next to me and awoke with chunks of flesh bitten off from my palm and arms.
My flesh wounds were uneven holes and I saw my white bones within.
I picked up the same snake and realized it was crushed and flattened. I must have accidentally slept on it when I was asleep in my sleep. Then, like a balloon, the snake revived itself and bit me again.
I quickly found a plastic aquarium and trapped the green snake inside. I stared at it and found an octopus on the side.
Suddenly, the snake began to grow into enormous size, almost breaking the fragile plastic.
In a fit of panic, I threw the whole thing out of my window.

2010-08-10T23:43:00.000+08:00

The truth will always come, eventually;
although we may not be there to see it but nonetheless feel content with just that.

2010-08-09T14:42:00.002+08:00

贡高，傲慢，脾气大，
信心危机大于一切？
对不起

2010-08-02T15:54:00.002+08:00

one month faster in realization, three months slower in execution

2010-07-26T08:43:00.002+08:00

Some things might change sooner than others, some might not
But all things are perishable

Francesco Clemente

2010-07-23T10:42:00.000+08:00

turtle fresh out of its shell

2010-07-21T10:37:00.001+08:00

(wrote this a year after his death, found it again this morning)

Last year, when my dad was dying at the hospital, I was in the car with my sister, and we were rushing back from KL to see him. When we arrived at the hospital, it was 3 something in the morning and the security guards let us in without any questions. I had no clue what reactions to display or what right emotions to be aware of. Fifth floor and through a narrow green corridor with families sleeping on tikar and thin blankets, we saw him. The body before us was covered from head to toe, but I knew it must be him.

We were too late.

Relatives were by his bedside, some were weeping from a distance and some chanted. My mother, tanned and weary was chanting Amitabha, we joined in and robotically chanted together. The cloth that covered him was bright yellow, shiny and with Chinese characters written all over. I read some of the words; they were supposed to protect him on his journey.

I also read somewhere that when a person dies, he/she experiences a contact that is beyond speech, and the closest way to put it, is to imagine a ‘turtle fresh out of its shell’, so sensitive towards its surrounding that a whisper is like the sound of thunders, and a cry breaks a heart into pieces infinite in numbers.

That was why we held our tears.

I wondered how my dad was coping with his new ‘out of shell’ experience.

My dad died in a General Hospital and in the 3rd class wad, it was an open space filled with single hospital beds as close to each other as possible. One ceiling fan for four patients and it worked well on rainy days but failed on any other given days. When my dad died, the fan was spinning slowly, and I remembered how his neighbours pretended to be asleep.

The nurses who were usually talented at displaying their discontent were now silent.

They pretended not to notice; some tried to show condolences or sympathy but failed miserably.

Then the bearded man came to ‘transfer’ the body to our chosen obituary hall; like a parade in a ghostly town, we marched with the bearded man who put a silver lid on my dad’s dead body like a turkey waiting to be served. We left the main building behind and arrived at a depressing little one.

I stood next to my dad and saw his feet. They were so tensed, as though stretching to reach somewhere very far, distinct blue river veins frozen underneath a cold pale film.

My dad is dead. At that moment, I was still reminding myself of this fact, and how naive I was to think that I knew then what death is. ...

2010-07-20T12:17:00.000+08:00

爸爸早已原谅我的不孝
一直都知道最难原谅的是我自己

2010-07-17T14:11:00.001+08:00

离群索居

2010-07-17T11:21:00.004+08:00

她可能永远也不会知道自己想要的是什么，但是她一直都很清楚，她不想要的是什么。

她总喜欢做幕后的看客，冷冷地，静静地看着一切，在她眼里，一切都在她的意料之中，她并不觉得有什么是新奇的，如果她表现得新奇，那是因为她觉得应该这样做。她像一个看戏的人，永远置身事外。

你不要责怪她冷漠，这是她保护自己的唯一方式。她像一只刺猬，随时竖起自己身上的刺，但她的刺不会伤人，她只是用来武装自己。她不敢要太多的爱，她怕享受完爱之后，剩下的只是加倍的痛。所以当别人对她过度宠爱时，她不但不会欣喜，反而会惊惧地逃走，她不知道怎样回报别人对她的爱，如果你得到她的喜爱，那是因为她已经知道如何面对，如何回报了。她追求那种君子之交淡如水的境界。她懂得爱人，但她不习惯爱人，她知道爱往往伴随着恨，而恨，是太沉重的伤痛，也是太容易让人疲倦的感情。她不想痛，也就懒得去恨，于是，为了防范恨与痛的到来，她只好选择不爱，即使爱，也是淡淡的，冷冷的。别怪她，她是真的不知道如何专注。

她有时也很虚伪。不要指责她，她之所以选择虚伪，那是你勉强她做她不愿做但又拒绝不了的事，她不习惯承诺，也不懂得拒绝，她最擅长的是难为自己。她不想你难过，只好令自己难过。她总是固执地认为自己有超乎寻常的承受力，她将自己想得太坚强，而把别人想得太脆弱。她老是担心自己的行为会让别人受到伤害。她不知道，受伤的其实是自己。只是她不知道如何表现出来，她迷糊得像别人所认为的那样，将自己当成一个百毒不侵的人。

别以为她很洒脱，很多时候，她其实是放不下的-――她比任何人都要敏感，都要细腻，但她不会让你知道，她明白，即使你知道了，也是无济于事。她的心是把握不住的风，她渴望像风一样单纯而自由。她不是不想平静，她只是找不到平静的理由，她一生都无法明确自己在人世要扮演的角色，她只有不停地寻求，寻求自己最终的目的。如果她找到了，她会毫不犹豫地停下来，从此放弃心灵的漂泊。很遗憾，她永远也不会满足，她的追求永不停止。她的心再累，也无法逼迫自己放弃梦想，梦想是她唯一的支撑点。

千万别让她失望。因为她学不会原谅，她非常渴求完美，虽然她知道世间没有绝对的完美，但，她有绝对追求完美的执着。你若令她失望，她会不可挽回地离开，即使她的心在滴血，即使痛楚重得要压垮她的生命，她也绝不回头。那个时候，你在她脸上所看到的，是让人寒心的决绝。即使她还在你的身边，她的心也早就离你十万八千里，你看不到她的恨，但是你会感受到比恨还让人痛苦的冷淡。她的离开是心灵的离开。

她可以在前半分钟对你好得让你受宠若惊，也可以在后半钟冷漠得让你不可接受。不要问她为什么这样善变，她也不知道。当你看到她在疯狂地快乐或悲伤时，千万不要迷惑，不管她看起来是多么的疯狂，她内心其实是冷静的，她比你们任何一个旁观者更知道如何处理快乐与悲伤，她只是习惯-――也可以说是喜欢将一切都变得疯狂。因为她觉得这是义务，也是权利，她是制造气氛的能手，她的一句俏皮话会让一切轻快起来，但她的一声叹息又会将一切都弄得很沉重。她总是不由自主地交错操纵着快乐与忧郁。她并不如你们看到的那么快乐，同样，也不如你们看到的那么忧伤，只是，她忧郁时，喜欢带上快乐的面具，而当她快乐时，忧郁又不肯轻易放过她。

在她的宝瓶里，盛着的不是快乐的源泉，而是她不愿在人前滴下的泪水。你看到的她，笑起来像一个孩子，你有时会认为她天真得像是童话里走出来的天使。但是，你若有心，你会看到她沉静时脸上挥之不去的忧伤，还有她的眼底，竟那么凝重地积压着一种看破红尘的味道。她只有在午夜无人的时候，才会完全地释放自己。她不会在众目睽睽之下表露她的无助，她的彷徨，她的沧桑。她瓶子里的水，是永远流不尽的泪。你所看到的坚强，只是她在竭力掩饰的脆弱

2010-07-17T04:43:00.001+08:00

别再找我了，我不要了
我去寻找能释放我的真理
没名也罢
没钱也罢
红尘越来越没有吸引力

2010-07-15T15:38:00.003+08:00

我姐姐常说临死前记得静心念阿弥陀佛，
阿弥陀佛才会来迎接你远离轮回的纠缠。

我姐姐没有说错，阿弥陀佛对我而言是象征解脱；只是一个symbol, symbol of enlightenment.
临死或不临死想阿弥陀佛，是实际的解脱，静心不再对世间再有半点留恋。
不再想我最爱的情人，也不再想我最亲的家人
什么都没有了什么都是我。
最后连我也没有了。
阿弥陀佛

Teksi

2010-07-15T15:20:00.000+08:00

I am a failed musician. This is a tough industry so when I built my family, I chose stability.
So look, I am now a taxi driver and have been so for the past 10 years.
My teacher once told me that if I have 3 true friends, I can conquer the world.
True friends who are really going to be there for you, to die for you.
I have zero, many members but that is all.
Today, money is everything, people are fake.
But what do I know? I'm just a taxi driver.

2010-07-15T15:09:00.001+08:00

It is as though I have tapped into something in which I am not ready for, at least parts of me still yearn to stay where I am for predictable comfort and illusions; yet larger and larger parts of me begin to want to explore, to relearn what I already knew.

Mr. Woo's flied liceeeee

2010-07-13T18:01:00.004+08:00

I’ve been eating flied lice for the past three days and it’s slowly becoming an addiction.

I flied the lice myself with some oil, soy sauce and eggs only. The taste is bland and if others were to try, I’m pretty sure they would say it’s bland.

But it tastes like my dad’s cooking. The one he used to cook for me when I came home from school, primary school.

My dad’s been dead for more than 3 years or maybe 4, I can’t remember.

it's an acquired taste my liceee

2010-07-06T18:25:00.001+08:00

习惯性的让键盘打出文字，今天突然心血来潮要抄书，
一笔一画很痛快。

2010-07-01T15:52:00.001+08:00

我愛文字但美麗誠懇動人的文字深藏不露，
逃出來的也只是輕言妄語。

頌

2010-07-01T15:35:00.002+08:00

春有百花秋有月
夏有涼風冬有雪
若無閒事挂心頭

便是人間好時節

2010-05-29T09:15:00.000+08:00

just a tiny ounce despite all odds to make it work
but only in the sanctity of trust
if only.

2010-05-29T09:12:00.000+08:00

I always hope to be vulnerable in us
it's an indulgence...no?
but hope & should reflect different outcomes
can you guess what is ours?

2010-05-29T09:01:00.001+08:00

So sad to find out the truth
So sad to find us here

2010-05-27T16:10:00.003+08:00

we are who we are
like many before and after us
confused and in the dark.

2010-04-29T09:59:00.001+08:00

I'm going to drink a bit of my life away today
not that it's going to solve us
This is overly dramatic
Your curiosity feeds on my silence
It's too dramatic
& I despise myself for being so
Tomorrow, it'll be better
not because the universe is sympathetic
but because it's really petty drowning in love hate

2010-04-29T09:50:00.002+08:00

I’m flawed from the beginning

But don’t make me into one of them

I’m losing my grip & I feel like a fool

I told you before

Repeating myself is inferior

Your answers are predictable & I just might follow them.

Then it’ll be the end of us.

2010-04-27T11:42:00.002+08:00

You were jealous of my travelling

My instinct told me not to tell

We both want reckless abandon

But I’ve been cautious for too long

Numb by what surrounds us

& used excuses for the lack of dreams

There is a dark side to me to you

2010-04-27T02:51:00.001+08:00

crap now look where I am
miserable & unforgiving
logic is more than kindness

2010-04-27T02:49:00.000+08:00

we do live in the most beautiful prison known to us

the only ugly thing in it is us.

2010-04-27T02:46:00.000+08:00

there will be sacrifices but maybe by then I'll be long dead.

2010-04-27T02:44:00.002+08:00

I'm so fucked up, it's hard to come above water & easier to kill.

Semberono

2010-04-10T14:08:00.002+08:00

Suatu hari nanti, sikap semberono aku mungkin akan membinasa

Hari ini, kemungkinan itu lebih nyata.

2010-04-09T09:06:00.004+08:00

surrounded by sleepwalkers, she looked for sign of life.

huff puff, restless no more.

she is one of them.

2010-03-22T11:07:00.001+08:00

沉默不代表有心事，只是懶惰講話在放空

2010-03-20T15:31:00.003+08:00

2010-03-17T14:18:00.003+08:00

Bionic peeps roaming on the streets...

Some with cochlear implants dating from early 2000. Insufficient funds and power are often the reason; the sufferers may understand but nonetheless are unhappy and habitually feel inadequate in more than one ways.

Pure breed is extinct and we are further away from the truth but there is nothing we cannot do and no place we cannot go.

This planet is no different from the other and time is but just a stale magic trick.

Gender becomes nostalgic indulgence and moral is but a reminiscence for the homeless.

I've found the answer to immortality but it's already old news.

2010-03-13T13:19:00.002+08:00

everybody has their life crisis

what's yours?
no...wait a minute, I don't really want to hear it.

2010-03-08T14:30:00.002+08:00

我這悠悠放任的日子

短暫無常

3

2010-03-05T13:52:00.001+08:00

tea at 3, chi

xoxo

2010-03-05T12:35:00.002+08:00

余福薄，又不能积功累行

以基厚福

兼不耐烦剧，不能容人

时或以才智盖人

直心直行，轻言妄谈

凡此皆薄福之相也

I'm sorry.

2010-03-04T13:32:00.002+08:00

妄想只是烦闷

宇宙人生真相才是自由

2010-02-18T10:34:00.001+08:00

sometimes, when I'm holding a glass of water or an empty one, the urge to drop it is always strong.

just to see if I am in the present, and time reversal invariance happens to be my probable state.

對話

2010-02-16T13:32:00.003+08:00

我的脾氣坏透了，所以我把它扔掉了

喲，真的嗎？談何容易？

2010-02-13T12:47:00.002+08:00

哪一個凡人不苦悶？

2010-02-13T12:42:00.001+08:00

2010-02-12T10:36:00.000+08:00

another father away

my condolences.

2010-02-12T08:20:00.001+08:00

the world is depressing as it is,

why did you go and do that?

not interested in the reasons,

just wished that you'll hang around longer

2010-02-10T13:51:00.002+08:00

I want to be a Jedi.

The Jewel is within the Lotus.

I want to be a Jedi.

The Force is within You.

I want to be a Jedi.

You're a broken record.

Let's get out of this country.

2010-02-08T11:29:00.000+08:00

2010-02-02T17:33:00.001+08:00

I was long dead; it just takes time for the signs to show.

But resurrection is probable,

Renaissance is possible.

But for what cause?

Will I be any different then?

2010-01-21T10:46:00.000+08:00

so I was brought here 29 years ago.

what have I brought to the table?

you & me

2010-01-19T15:29:00.000+08:00

they're like children

I am they

2010-01-10T14:28:00.001+08:00

lupakan semua, tinggalkan pergi

2010-01-10T14:24:00.001+08:00

I'm no saint, I'm not kind but there is a little compassion left.

Now all I need to do is to find a little more tolerance to make myself happy yet never succumb to the pandemic of mind decay.

dark side

2010-01-10T14:22:00.003+08:00

Darth Vader: Now you know how I feel and why.

Elice: No, I won't claim that I do.

Joker: Why so serious?

Elice: Because I'm this close to crossing over.

Fool: Join the club.

Nietzche: Only sick music makes money today.